The art of allowing yourself the happiness you deserve begins with living in the present moment as much as you can.

As of now, I find myself travelling around the UK with my friend Lily in our van full time. We have sold the majority of our belongings (including my car), ended the lease on our rentals and left our previous jobs.

I am finally living out the dream I have eagerly watched so many people experience from my phone screen and I am here to spill the beans…

I’ve learnt something key about living in this crazy world whilst being on the road that I was too busy to notice before.

Get this… I’ve figured some ways to be, in order to allow myself to be happy in the present moment.

My past perception:

In the four years running up to qualifying as a Chartered Accountant, I consistently looked for happiness in something outside of myself or in a moment that was yet to arrive.

Society convinced me that I would be happy when:

• Friday rolled around

• I had a drink in my hand at the pub

• I was in a relationship

• I earned a certain amount

• I had some annual leave

• I got my own place

• I passed all of my exams

• I bought a ‘better’ car

I would often follow these up with sarcastic phrases such as ‘I’m living the dream’ to deflect from acknowledging that I was in a perpetual state of waiting for good things to arrive.

After achieving items on that list – most, several times over – I realised at the ripe age of 22 that happiness was, at least for me, not at the end of a goal or milestone. It is in the metaphorical journey of the everyday.

Life passed me by pretty quickly before I began actively looking for things which confirmed I was living a life I liked or making positive changes which impacted my near future. Without being present in these years spent wishing for another day, I was unable to change anything.

It’s a consumerist trick to think that we will be happy when X happens. That we must spend our life in a perpetual state of waiting for suffering to end and for something good to come round and whack us on the head like retirement or a promotion.

Whilst it’s nice to have things to look forward to, I spent years of my life restlessly looking ahead at the next thing in my calendar or nostalgically looking through old photos. I was rarely allowing myself to be happy in the present moment and rarely celebrating the successes that passed me by.

Sure, achievements can bring about celebration, happiness and togetherness, however time on the road full-time has illustrated to me just how important the metaphorical ‘journey of life’ is as opposed to the final destination.

Lil and I don’t hope that the weather is good when we arrive somewhere, we sing along the way, keeping the mood cheery and bright so that the sun follows us everywhere. We enjoy the journey at every point, be it an F1 race to pump up Nancy’s (our van) tyres or getting nice snacks to fuel us when we buy diesel. We have certain CDs for certain days (including Avril Lavigne and Dolly Parton only days) and we take everything that comes our way in our stride, using the resources and energy we have at the time.

So, what has changed for me?

The shift in how I use my time, in not having a set structure, has caused me to slow down considerably. In not attempting to do five things at once I have enabled myself to become more present which is helping to alleviate my burn-out.

Best of all, I have learnt that I must seek out the happiness, peace and ease I wish to experience.

For me this has meant looking out for good things in my life and pointing them out to my brain.

Oh thanks, green traffic light! Oh thanks Mr Sun for making a guest appearance! Oh thanks, tasty cup of tea! Oh thanks for kind and supportive friends and family!

Good things are happening all around me. I have made it my mission to look for proof that life is happening for me and not to me.

When I can’t see the wood for the trees, I decide to create my own examples of how life is happening for me in the form of self care. See my energy management article where I share habits which energise me.

If you are new to this, you could begin as simple as repeating affirmations such as:

I now choose to love and approve of myself.
I trust the process of life.
I relax and let life flow joyously.
I am completely open to a joyous life.
There is time and space for everything I need to do.
I am at peace.

There was always something stopping me before. That ‘something’ was a lack of awareness that life could be any different from stress and unease. I am here to tell you that life can be peaceful and joyous!

Purposely discarding the labels and the majority of my belongings that I worked so hard to attain has caused me to evaluate how I view and value myself, my life and the people and things that I surround myself with.

Despite what society says, you don’t have to pick one thing to do or be for 60 years, in fact, I strongly disagree with this concept and I have decided it no longer applies to me. Van life is working for the moment and should that ever change, I trust I will make the right decision for me.

The truth about van life

Each life choice comes with its pros and cons. I could have afforded a house deposit with the money I worked hard to save; instead, I decided to travel and take a break from the corporate space I was so comfortable in.

Whilst there is not only more immediate beauty for me to admire in the form of jaw dropping landscapes, I also carve the time to ‘be in’ precious moments: to catch sunrises and sunsets, to cook fresh nutritious meal from scratch and to dance whilst washing up. My life currently requires increased attention on seemingly ‘mindless’ things which happened somewhat unconsciously before, such as knowing where we’ll park to rest my head at night and whether we have enough water and food for the next day or so due to limited storage. The cons are far outweighed by the pros for the moment and that is all that matters.

The additional disposable time this lifestyle has afforded me so far has not gone un-appreciated. It has led me to enjoy food more, to be more present with friends and family and I find myself more content as a result.

Realising that I will never be this age or this version of myself ever again has helped me to live ‘in’ it and savour the taste of ‘the now’.

Are you really living out your dream?

Be that working in a vintage bookshop in a village making tea and coffee for the regulars or being a CEO. Who said we need to give into being corporate boss babes if our heart is in the countryside? Who said we need to sell everything and live nomadically in a van if you desire creature comforts of a house?

Be it choosing an outfit that makes you feel good today, spending time with people you love or consciously choosing things that bring you joy. Being present can start with intending to notice how you feel as you brush your teeth or do your skincare routine. It can also be in noticing how your body feels first thing in the morning, or before you see a friend and then afterwards.

Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows…

But dancing in the rain can be fun too!

Despite how things appear on social media, van life is still ‘life’ on the road.

We don’t all wake up everyday feeling great and ready to go. Being on the road without structure has highlighted this even more to me. Only a month or so ago, I would often wake up at the latest possible point before my alarm and rush off to work without considering what I may need that day because I had somewhere to be. Without the sudden urge of somewhere to be, I have been forced to face whatever state I wake up in and act accordingly to identify what is in my control and do what I can to make the day as pleasant as possible.

Some days I wake up as a hungry and groggy Chloe who is much better after a coffee and a pastry, other days a reflective Chloe who wants a quiet morning of journalling and meditation before stepping into the world.

Identifying what I want and need in the first half an hour of waking has helped me live more consciously and in the now. Some days it’s just about getting through a busy day and being gentle with myself. Sometimes it’s movements, snacks, comfy clothes and planning something later on that excites me.

Happiness is here and not in the distant future.

Whilst my life has changed physically, I have chosen to consciously work hard to change my mindset. As I found out for myself in this first week on the road, changing location doesn’t magically make you happy and invincible from life’s challenges or anxiety. Waking up everyday and choosing a constructive narrative for your life however, does.

No matter where you are or what you find yourself doing, there will be things you like and dislike all around. There will be things you can grumble and moan about; and things you can appreciate. Moaning about the negative things doesn’t necessarily change them (unless of course, you have a direct line to the complaints department of The Universe…).

Appreciation and gratitude can ground you in the present moment and release endorphins. Heck, you may even crack a smile!

You don’t need to book a holiday or sell all of your things to become more present. Whilst it may help, there are things you can do no matter your situation to achieve this.

For anyone wondering, I am no Ghandi and I haven’t got it all figured out. I simply assessed where I was in life and where I wanted to be. I then made choices to live the life I am in now which is satisfying me and I am adjusting as I go along to make this journey as enjoyable as possible.

5 ways to become more present:

I have written a piece which touches on 5 key things I do to replace associated future happiness with present gratitude, things I pick up as and when I feel I need them which have helped massively.

This piece will be released on 27th January.

You can read it here.

If you can’t wait until then you can read the mindfulness exercise I wrote which details my favourite ways to let go of self-critical behaviours that no longer serve me in order to navigate my journey of self-love and acceptance. It is a journal prompt that works as a great self-love exercise.

Happiness and ease are right here in the present moment for you to find. You’re alive, you’re breathing, you’re safe and warm, you have access to food and water and comfort. You have everything you need and you are exactly where you need to be. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

Till next time,

Chloe

Xxx