Feeling stuck? Understanding liminal spaces in life

Jan 19, 2023 | Self

Much like the ocean, life is a constant ebb and flow of change. Sometimes the tide brings a new surge of energy, inspiration and creativity. Other times the waves retreat, leaving behind a sense of vast emptiness with a tinge of uneasiness for what’s to come.These moments, when we’re standing on the edge of something new but we’re not just quite there, are called liminal spaces. Liminal spaces in life can be physical, emotional or metaphorical.

The strangest part of all of this is knowing that until I make a decision, and stick to it, I will be stuck in this liminal space of uncertainty and not knowing.

Physical liminal spaces

A physical liminal space is something tangible that you can recognise as a pathway, passageway, or portal. These places are transitory, meaning you’re supposed to pass through them on your way to something else. Stairways, bridges, cars, trains, airports and airplanes are all liminal spaces. We use them for a fleeting moment, before we reach our desired destination.

We go from point A to B, we fly by plane from Helsinki to Berlin, but we hardly stop and think about that space in between – unless we get stuck in it for an uncomfortably long time or something goes wrong. Then the liminal space begins to feel unbearable and dangerous, because of the fear of what could happen. 

Emotional liminal spaces

Liminal spaces can also be intangible, yet very present in our life. Throughout our lives we encounter countless emotional liminal spaces. These are usually life-altering or life-halting events characterised by transition or transformation. You may feel stuck in an emotional liminal space after your university graduation, a break up or a recent death of a loved one. Although these spaces may vary in duration and the amount of pain they cause, they do all have an ending that leaves you wondering what’s next?

Metaphorical liminal spaces in life

A metaphorical liminal space usually involves a decision of some type to be made. For the past few months, I’ve been feeling trapped in a metaphorical liminal space. It’s the weirdest one to be in as it involves so much abstractness. There is nothing physical to it nor is it emotional. It is just there like a crossroad and I am standing in the middle of it counting all of the ideas in my mind. What do I choose? What feels right? Idea a, b, or c? The strangest part of all of this is knowing that until I make a decision, and stick by it, I will be stuck in this liminal space of uncertainty and not knowing.

Liminal spaces in life can be valuable teachers

As I am writing this article, the main thought running through my mind is – here we go again. Every few years I find myself in a liminal space and every time it churns the same distressing feeling within me. The feeling of having to make a decision. If you’re also a recovering people pleaser, you may be all too familiar with the paralysing feeling of decision-making. This time around is not much different in my case. Except, I think I’ve finally learned to slow down and observe myself in this current liminal space.

Liminal spaces are the tides of our life. They flow in and out. Sometimes they bring ashore the discarded, difficult things we must face and deal within ourselves. Other times, the tide clears the sand leaving behind an open path full of opportunity.

By learning to sit with the uncertainty of liminal spaces, we build our resiliency towards fear. We learn to surrender and accept change, instead of trying to resist, fight, or run away from it. Liminal spaces are the tides of our life. They flow in and out. Sometimes they bring ashore the discarded, difficult things we must face and deal within ourselves. Other times, the tide clears the sand leaving behind an open path full of opportunity. A blank canvas on which we can freely create what our hearts desire. Just like the dawn of a new beginning.

Have you found yourself recently in a liminal space?

A marketing professional in tech by day, Lilli finds a creative release in exploring and writing about her perfectly imperfect human experience on muija. With heart and soul, she is learning how to navigate this life, and in sharing her stories Lilli hopes to inspire others to follow their curiosity, too.

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